Hard Weekend/Week

After a terribly difficult weekend for my family (and a difficult week looming ahead), I'm taking a break from this blog.

With all of life's challenges right now, not sure I can handle even a love challenge.

Day Three: Love is not Selfish

Dare #3: Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."

Ohh...gifts. Gifts are my primary love language. I can do gifts. But right after the holidays? Oh boy. This is going to stretch my creativity and my generosity.

Here goes!

Day Two: Recap

Boo! I did not do a good job of cutting negativity from my speech yesterday. I failed many times.

However, I did have a few moments of surprisingly positivity. And I could definitely see an impact on those around me. When I came home from work, I could tell Travis felt down. And I instantly knew that his new computer wasn't working as planned. And I saw my moment to be kind.

I wish I could say it was a piece of cake. However, I'm increasingly aware of my fallibility. I can say it was worth it.

Day Two: Love is Kind

Dare #2: In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

To be honest, this scares me a little. I'm all about random acts of kindness. However, when you live with the person, it's no longer random. It's personal. And scary. What if he doesn't respond to my act? What if it makes no impact at all? With strangers, I can imagine that it makes an impact. With my husband, I'll know the truth.

How will I respond? I pray that I will not be expecting something in return--even a 'thank you'. I pray I will complete this dare with a cheerful heart, even if he doesn't notice.

Day One: Recap

I found this to be a surprisingly fun challenge! Negativity, while easy and sometimes fun, is prolific. At first, I read the challenge as being about not saying anything negative about T to him. But, it was really about not saying anything negative at all. So, just be positive! Easy, right?

Umm...maybe. If you don't count the first 20 minutes after I got home from work when I cried about being hungry. Or the negative things I said when I found out his...interesting...friend came over for dinner (side note: this was unfair test--I was under the impression that we were having date night and this threw me for a loop).

All in all, I could easily see the fruits of my positivity. For example, instead of sulking about missing our date night (for longer than a minute), I focused on T's tender heart towards his friends and how much I can learn from that. Then we seemed like a team throwing a dinner party instead of a gracious host and a begrudging hostess. It was fun.

And it was also harder than I expected.

Day One: Love is Patient

Dare #1: Resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.

Oh man. Patience. This will be a challenge for me. But I'm so glad we are starting here. It's where Paul started when describing love. It's where my mom started when demonstrating love. It's where I need to start.

I'll report back tomorrow morning.

God has cool timing

Like many on New Year's Eve, I was reflecting on the past year and considering my resolutions for 2011. The same goal kept popping into my mind: strong relationships. With God and with the people in my life.

The most important relationship I have on this Earth is with my husband. I truly believe that we have a good marriage. But, this is the year to make it great. So, I started looking for ways to make that happen. And "The Love Dare" kept popping into my head.

I tried to resist. Believe me. I thought it was much too cheesy of a book for me. But I had that sinking suspicion that I needed to read it. So I ordered it.

For those of you who don't know, The Love Dare is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to practice unconditional love. It's written for couples with strong relationships as well as those who are just hanging on.

The book arrived yesterday and I start Day 1 today. I plan on posting about the day's dare here and maybe sharing a bit about my experience.

The coolest part? The 40th day will be February 13th. I'm expecting the best Valentine's Day ever! Who's with me??